Forms

Wedding Application

Preparing for Marriage Counseling Covenant

Wedding Guidelines

We believe the Bible provides clear guidelines that protect and enrich marriage for a lifetime. These guidelines define our process:

1. Can an unbeliever and a believer marry?

We believe the future bride and groom must be spiritually and emotionally compatible. We will not schedule a wedding unless a couple is spiritually and emotionally compatible.

Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? (2 Corinthians 6:14)

2. What if one of us is divorced?

Our God values the permanence of marriage. To honor marriage and the covenant made we will not marry divorced persons except where Scripture allows.  Midland Free believes that there are only two situations where the Bible allows for remarriage after a divorce.

A. If adultery (sexual sin) has occurred within a relationship by the other party.

"It has been said, 'Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce. But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, causes her to become an adulteress, and anyone who marries the divorced woman commits adultery. (Matthew 5:31-32)

B. If a non-Christian abandons a Christian. 

But if the unbeliever leaves, let him do so. A believing man or woman is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace. (1 Corinthians 7:15)

Beyond these two circumstances, Midland Free pastors will not participate in remarriage weddings after a divorce due to the sanctity of the marriage covenant. 

3. What if we are sexually active?

God speaks clearly through His Word:  there are benefits and blessings of self-control and obedience. We require both of you to remain sexually pure until your wedding day.

Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral. (Hebrews 13:4)

4. What if we are living together?

We believe couples should not cohabitate prior to marriage and will not schedule a wedding for couples who are living together.  We believe engagement is a time to work on the non-physical aspects of the relationship: emotional, spiritual and intellectual closeness. Couples who are cohabitating have a higher divorce rate after marriage. God wants marriage to be a true commitment, not a trial run.

Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. (1 Cor. 6:18)

Because of our experience working with couples and successfully preparing for marriage, we have developed the following guidelines:

1. Overview of Requirements

• Complete Wedding Application, PREPARE inventory and approval process (reserve dates on calendar)
• Attend Preparing for Marriage Course, meet with a mentor couple and with a Pastor prior to marriage. (Includes all Biblical sessions and book reading).  Course is offered once a year and includes 6-8 sessions.  If course is not available, material is covered by Pastor and Mentor Couple.
• Adhere to Preparing for Marriage Counseling Covenant (accountable to officiating Pastor and mentor couple)

Required Book Reading for Preparing for Marriage Course

• Preparing for Marriage by Dennis Rainey
• Love and Respect by Emerson & Sara Eggerich
• Complete Financial Guide for Young Couples by Larry Burkett
• His Needs Her Needs by Willard F. Harley, Jr.

Other Recommended Reading

• Saving Your Marriage Before is Starts by Drs. Les & Leslie Parrott
• The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman
• Intended for Pleasure by Ed Wheat M.D. & Gaye Wheat

2. If divorced, how long should we wait before remarrying?

We believe that a new relationship should not be pursued until the potential of a healthy reconciliation has been exhausted and time for personal recovery has passed. We encourage at least two years to have elapsed from the time the divorce was made legally final. We encourage a divorced person to participate in counseling sessions that address recovery from a divorce, as well as to explore the possibility and/or wisdom of reconciliation, remarriage, and singleness.

When children are involved we move carefully forward.

3. How long do we have to be a couple before we consider marriage?

We recommend at least six months of dating and six months of engagement.

We call this the “Test of Time.”  Marriage is one of the most important lifetime decisions and commitments a couple will ever make. Take time to truly know each other, make the proper preparations and undertake the relational work that needs to be completed prior to saying “I Do.”

4. How long does it take to prepare for a wedding?

At least one year is highly recommended due to the process and the need for advanced booking of outside reception halls. We advise you to come into our Preparing for Marriage process as soon as you are thinking seriously of being married or well before your desired wedding date.

5. If a couple breaks their vow of purity (covenant) it is the officiating pastor’s discretion to postpone or terminate the wedding plans.

Getting Started

1. Complete the Wedding Application and Preparing for Marriage Counseling Covenant. 

Submit to Care Ministries Assistant at the Midland Free church office with a check for $30.00, payable to Midland Free to cover PREPARE inventory - a premarital counseling tool. (Submission triggers step #2)

2. Complete PREPARE inventory online (email addresses required).

The PREPARE Inventory will be emailed to you directly from Life Innovations, Inc., evaluated and a report sent to Care Pastor.  (Completing #2 triggers #3)

3. Interview Appointment

After the PREPARE inventory report has been reviewed by the Care Pastor, a staff member will contact you to set up your initial interview.  During the interview, the Wedding Application, the Preparing for Marriage Counseling Covenant and the PREPARE inventory report will be reviewed. This is a two-hour appointment.

4. Pastoral Evaluation

The officiating Pastor will meet with the Senior Pastor to either approve the wedding application and reserve the date on the church calendar or request more information from the couple.

5. Care Ministries Assistant will contact the couple when the wedding application has been approved. 

Facility reservations and fees will be discussed.  The Wedding Coordinator will contact the couple to discuss ceremony and rehearsal details. A Facility Request Form must be completed at this time.

6. The most valuable and extensive time in the Preparing for Marriage process is meeting with various individuals committed to helping create a successful marriage. These individuals are:

• The Pastor: The Pastor performing the ceremony will oversee the Preparing for Marriage process. He will lead the couple through a series of meetings where Biblical guidelines for marriage, parenting, and other practical matters will be discussed.  He will be evaluating the couple’s ability to make a commitment.  All assignments must be completed prior to marriage. (The last assignment is the outline of the ceremony due two weeks prior to the wedding. See #7 below)
  
• The Preparing for Marriage Mentors: The mentor couple will help discuss similar issues as the Pastor.  They work on the marital relationship and day-to-day issues such as roles, family, living arrangements, work issues, communication and finances. The mentors will work in conjunction with the Pastor and will be asked for a final assessment at least a month prior to the marriage date. 
  
• The Preparing For Marriage Course: This course, usually offered January - March, covers the main Biblical texts and topics.  It is taught by lay ministry team members.  If a couple’s schedule does not allow them to attend the class the sessions need to be covered by the Pastor and/or the mentor couple. The content of this course must be completed prior to marriage.

7. Meet with the Pastor to plan wedding ceremony.

Readings, music, vows and other specifics will be discussed. All music must be approved (This must be done no later than two weeks prior to the wedding date).

When can we start?

Start as early as possible. You do not have to be engaged. If you would like help in the decision to be married, feel free to contact the Care Ministries office. We would be glad to assist you! The prospective bride or groom must be a regular attender of Midland Free for at least three months prior to starting the Preparing for Marriage process.

When should we book a reception hall?

Please do not reserve an outside reception hall until your wedding and date have been scheduled and confirmed at the church.

What happens after the wedding has been approved?

An Approval Letter will be sent to the couple verifying that a date has been reserved on the church calendar for the rehearsal and wedding ceremony. The Preparing for Marriage process will be outlined. A Facility Request Form must be completed listing specific needs and set up for the facility. (Best done in conjunction with Wedding Coordinator). Rooms can be reserved for receptions when available. All weddings and receptions must end no later than 8 p.m. on Saturdays. We do not perform weddings on Sundays. A wedding date will not be guaranteed until 12 months prior to the wedding.

What if we want a Pastor that is not on the Midland Free staff to marry us, but we want to be married at Midland Free?

Some couples have a Pastor that they identify with from their hometown before transitioning to the Midland area and request him to officiate their wedding. We acknowledge the fact that this is important for the couple, and will accommodate this request only if the Pastor is of like faith and belief. A Midland Free Pastor must be part of the ceremony if the church campus is used. He can be available for the welcome, a reading or prayer and will be present for the entire ceremony.

Couples will still be required to adhere to the Preparing for Marriage course to be married at Midland Free.

Can a Midland Free Pastor marry us off-site?

Yes.  All Preparing for Marriage requirements are still in effect. Compensation for travel expenses, gas, food and other expenses need to be addressed and provided for the Pastor and his wife/family. Note: If you are getting married out-of-state make sure the pastor has authorization or a license to officiate a wedding ceremony in that location.

Who will help us in planning for the wedding ceremony?

The officiating Pastor can assist you in planning for your wedding ceremony. The order of worship for the ceremony needs to be discussed and approved by the officiating Pastor no later than two weeks prior to the wedding date. We reserve the right to approve music, reading and other content for all ceremonies. The Wedding Coordinator will be contacted by a staff person when a wedding has been approved. The couple is responsible for contacting all musicians, readers and other participants in the wedding.

What does the Wedding Coordinator do?

Couples wishing to use Midland Free for their wedding service must coordinate their wedding plans through our Wedding Coordinator. She will work with you and discuss details specific to your wedding day and rehearsal time.  Her objective is to be sure that your wedding service is well orchestrated and memorable. You will find her services and experience to be invaluable during your planning.  She will contact you after your wedding has been approved.

Can we have our wedding reception at Midland Free?

There are specific locations in the facility that can accommodate receptions.  These spaces can be considered when reserving the wedding date on the church calendar. All receptions must catered by a licensed, insured caterer and be assisted by a Midland Free PIC (person in charge of kitchen) before, during and after the reception.  General clean-up after the wedding is expected to be done by the couple getting married or whomever they designate for that duty.  This includes removal of decorations, flowers, trash, etc., and all activities must end no later than 8:00 pm if on Saturday. All receptions held on the church campus should reflect a nature that is consistent with a Christian event and should not bring into question the character of our Christian testimony. There will be no alcoholic beverages served on the church grounds.  The wedding service, rehearsal and reception should honor and bring glory to our Lord. All music that is chosen for either the wedding ceremony or the reception should be of Christian nature. There is no smoking allowed inside the facility on the Midland Free campus. No throwing of rice, confetti, birdseed, or glitter inside or outside the facility. No liquids with red or colored dyes are allowed in the facility.

Does Midland Free offer childcare?

Neither childcare nor our nursery area is available during the wedding rehearsal, the wedding or the reception. There are two comfort rooms that can be used for restless children during the wedding ceremony. Children must be supervised at all times.

Once we complete the wedding application and take the PREPARE inventory, can we go ahead and secure a reception off campus?

No, completing the Wedding Application and taking the PREPARE inventory does not guarantee approval of your wedding and the date you’re requesting. We recommend couples wait and complete the Preparing for Marriage process. This assures that your wedding is approved, and the rehearsal and ceremony have been secured on the church calendar. We highly recommend that couples start the Preparing for Marriage process with us as early as possible.

How and when should we secure a marriage license?

A marriage license can be secured in the county in which you reside. Each county has certain requirements; a valid driver’s license, birth certificate, and a small fee. In most counties the marriage needs to be solemnized within 30-33 days of application with a waiting period of 3-5 days. If couples reside in Michigan they do not have to be married in the same county they secured their marriage license but out-of-state residents must.

My fiancée (or both of us) lives a long distance from Midland Free, how are we to participate in the Preparing for Marriage process?

Some couples are faced with this issue. Since the Wedding Application and the PREPARE inventory are online, we can receive vital information that will aid in determining the status of your relationship for marriage without a fiancée being present. We do require that premarital counseling, comparable to that at Midland Free, be completed with a Pastor at another church in your local area prior to the wedding.

Are there any circumstances where Midland Free would refuse to marry us?

There are some cases in which indicators denote areas of concern to proceed with a wedding. The Pastor will review these “major” concerns with the couple during a consultation and request a postponement of marriage while offering an extended preparation plan. If the couple is willing to work on specific areas of their lives and relationship, we are willing to walk with them in their journey to prepare for a lifetime of marriage. We will marry a couple after they successfully work through the extended preparation plan designed for them.

What are the Fees for Weddings?

Required Fees

• Wedding Coordinator $150.00
• Sound Technician  $100.00
• Facility Staff  $90.00 (additional fees if more than six hours)
• Pastor Honorarium  $150.00 (suggested)

Optional Fees

• Reception – rooms (fee per room) , kitchen and PIC-Person In-Charge
• Big Screen - Technician  $100.00
• Lighting Technician  $100.00 (if there are lighting changes during ceremony)